Dealing with people

Sometimes it’s difficult to deal with people, including me.

ActuallyI think  it’s always difficult to deal with people as long as you’re actually “dealing” with them..

This feeling has become much stronger since I became a mother.

After talking with a lot of other mothers and reading comments on forums I found out most mothers feel the same way.  You suddenly feel that everyone around you is searching for something to blame you for. Their tone and looks are telling you: “You are a really bad mother, you should care more for your child” or “you understand nothing about parenting, you should ask me, I’m the expert here”, or sometimes even worse: “Do you want to kill your child?”. Even people on the street you have never met before must make sure that you feel guilt whatever you are doing. I’m not sure if I have exaggerated feelings concerning this, but one such situation may be enough to spoil my whole day. Well by now I’ve started to get used to it but sometimes I really can’t bear it any longer and it may be my Mom or any other close person that suddenly becomes my scapegoat after making some such remarks. For me the problem it’s not the remarks themselves but the way they make them and make sure you receive them. Is it human nature that God make people always feel sorry for young children to keep anyone from hurting them, maybe, but those people out there are overdoing it.

I’m not saying all people are bad. And I am not saying I am good either. The point is it takes a lot of self control and consciousness to be kind to other people all the time, even closest people to you, especially if you are not naturally gifted with patience and/or you already have enough problems and health issues that make you feel irritable. I know that we chose our own feelings and reactions, and that’s why I really would like to improve myself as to be more relaxed when receiving annoying remarks and just trying to consider them as innocent.

I remember here some sayings of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.

“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.”

Yeah, this is really a difficult task. And the one who achieves this deserves his reward.

“The believer who mixes with people and patiently bears their annoyance will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and patiently bear their annoyance.”

Indeed, it is much easier to isolate yourself from people but we are not created to live in isolation.

Please, God, help me become a better person, deal better with people and carry more love in my heart as I go through my everyday life…


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